ADHD Counseling Federal Way, WA

ADHD Counseling for Chronic People-pleasers

Serving Federal Way, Seattle, Tacoma, and nearby cities

Does any of this feel familiar?

  • Difficulty completing daily tasks or managing time

  • Chronically overwhelmed

  • Feeling a lack of motivation despite wanting to complete tasks

  • Sensory issues, like bright lights or loud sounds, are distracting and triggering

  • Brain feels foggy or busy

Whether you’re already diagnosed with ADHD or suspect some form of neurodivergence, you’re in the right place. ADHD mixed with people-pleasing tendencies may come with overcommitting, constantly chasing approval, and struggling to meet others’ needs while also meeting your own.

Counseling with me is a safe space to unravel these patterns and find ways to prioritize yourself, manage time, and work with your brain, not against it. Let’s face it, you deserve some peace and I can help you find it.

How ADHD Plays a Part in People-pleasing

ADHD isn’t just about struggling to focus or losing your keys every other day. ADHD affects how you interact with the world, how you form relationships, and even how you feel about yourself. One of the biggest hidden struggles with ADHD is the tendency to fall into people-pleasing as a coping mechanism. You may find this reflected in your life by the following examples:

Rejection-sensitivity - Even the smallest hint of criticism or disapproval feels overwhelming and can lead to deep emotional pain.

Impulsively saying “yes” - You often find yourself saying “yes” before you’ve had a chance to consider whether it’s realistic or if you actually want to say yes.

Difficulty following through - ADHD makes it harder to follow through on commitments, something that can lead to a lot of guilt and shame. When you agree to help a friend but can’t keep up with your own schedule, it’s easy to feel like you’re letting everyone down.

Seeking stimulation through connection - ADHD brains crave stimulation, and sometimes, people-pleasing can provide a temporary sense of satisfaction and social connection that feels like a relief from boredom or restlessness. But your relief is often short-lived, and you may end up feeling drained from constantly putting others first.

If any of these patterns sound familiar, you might be wondering if there’s a way out. There is! With support and strategies, you can break these cycles and start building healthier boundaries that work for you. Connect with me here and let’s get you some tools for managing these issues.

What Therapy with Me Looks Like

Hi, I’m Katie a licensed therapist providing ADHD counseling in Federal Way, WA and online in Washington State. I work with women and queer adults who are chronic people-pleasers with a touch of neuro-spiciness. Whether you’ve been diagnosed or suspect you have ADHD, I can help assess your symptoms and ways to manage life’s chaos.

Here’s what you can expect when working with me:

Understanding ADHD and People-Pleasing Patterns - Part of the therapy process is about understanding the “why” behind behavior. Why does rejection feel so painful? Why do you keep agreeing to commitments that feel overwhelming? Together, we’ll dive into how ADHD has shaped your experiences and how to change this moving forward.

Practicing Assertive Communication - Learning to say “no” can feel almost revolutionary. With assertive communication skills, you can start to set boundaries in ways that feel respectful to others and yourself. Counseling provides a practice space where you can experiment with asserting your needs without guilt.

Developing Time Management and Organizational Tools - Perhaps you struggle with prioritizing tasks because everything feels like it needs to be done right now. Therapy can help you create systems that work for your unique brain, whether that’s using visual aids, setting reminders, or breaking tasks into small manageable steps.

Rebuilding Self-Worth - If you believe your self-worth is tied to how helpful you are to others, therapy can help you reframe your value, separating it from the approval of others. You’re valuable just as you are—not because of how many favors you do or how perfectly you perform. We will explore ways to change your thoughts and beliefs about your worth, so you can stop spending mental and emotional energy worrying that you’re not good enough.

Addressing Shame and Rejection Sensitivity - Fearing rejection can amplify feelings of shame, especially when you can’t meet everyone’s expectations. Therapy provides tools to work through shame, helping you reframe those heavy feelings and see them as a natural response to the pressures you face. By challenging perfectionism and shame-based beliefs, you can begin to see yourself in a gentler, more compassionate light.

Therapy works best on a weekly basis - the more consistent, the better. My approach is compassionate and casual while being firm and challenging when appropriate. We will spend the first couple of sessions getting to know each other and how your brain functions. After we establish goals, I’ll give you clear, direct homework and tools to practice outside of sessions. My neurospiciness is mild but I have loved ones who have every ADHD symptom in the book, so I know how disorganized life can be with ADHD and the challenges of navigating it in relationships. You will find that I balance my personal experience with professional support, providing you a well-rounded therapy experience. If you’re ready to work together, book a free consultation.

  • Different modalities can offer different benefits, but the most commonly used therapy modality is CBT for ADHD. I use a combo of modalities which include CBT for changing thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors.

  • A combo of therapy and medication is often the best route for treating ADHD. Depending on severity of symptoms, therapy could be enough to help you manage ADHD symptoms.

  • Due to issues with concentration, impulsivity, and dysregulation, untreated ADHD can lead to increased irritability, depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.

  • My license does not allow me to officially diagnose ADHD or prescribe medication. For this reason, I have a wonderful list of psychiatrists who are able to assess, diagnose, and prescribe depending on your specific needs. I have personally vetted all my referral sources to ensure they are inclusive and safe for all identities.